Tuesday, April 3, 2012

RTMT: 99 Mounts and a Bear Ain't One.

"You have 98 mounts."
"So I do."
"You are very close to your 100 for the Blue Dragonhawk. What's the hold up?"
"Hmmm." Matty twists her lips from side to side, a tell of someone who is trying not to lie, chewing her figurative words carefully.
"It was the monkey's fault."
"The monkey?"
"Yes, see, last month, when I went to the Faire, there was this monkey with a fez, and he was so cute, and I don't think he was being treated all that well, so I decided to spend my tokens on him instead of saving them for another month for a new mount."
"I see."
"But now, well, even though I have done everything I can, at the end of the week, I'll still be short about thirty or forty tokens. Too much month for my money, so to speak."
"Well, it makes sense that the carnies would do what they can to keep you coming back. They are shysters, after all."
"So it's their fault, not mine?"
"Not exactly, my dear. You need to be more responsible. Plan ahead. Think two steps down the road instead of retracing regrets."
"They do this to me all the time, though."
"What's that, exactly?"
"Trick me into thinking I can get anything done. The next thing I know, my bags are full of junk, emptied of gold, and there's a monkey throwing poo in my boots when I'm not looking."

"Patience, girl, patience. And what smells like used bananas and shoe polish?"

Those last two mounts are going to be inglorious I'd wager. No grand rolls on a rare drop. No sightings of a rare spawn. No dungeon runs with cracker-jack groups to finish up achievements. Just grinding, grinding, grinding. Nope. Didn't win the Mega-Millions. Heck, didn't even the price of a cup of coffee with a scratch ticket. But when that lottery ticket is purchased, rarely in my routine, just for a tiny moment, I dream. The cost of the ticket is really for the few minutes of fantasy, nothing more. The bills that are paid, the educations purchased, the new car, the help for family and friends. And yes, maybe even a monkey.

Wait. No. No monkeys. A fez perhaps.


Theme song: The Clash/Career Opportunities


  1. Guarf3.4.12

    You have the battle chicken? If not, daily trip to heroic Magister's Terrace! You have the, um, OTHER battle chicken? If not, daily trip to heroic wassitcalled? The place with all the birds!

    Only takes 10-15 min each.

    1. Anonymous3.4.12

      Just keep in mind how rare the Phoenix pet is and I'm pretty sure IT'S drop rate is still better than the white strider. Then again, I still take my Rogue to Stratholme on occasion and hang my head when the Baron's reigns fail to drop.

      Amateur Azerothian (*sigh* BITE ME BLOGSPOT)

    2. Guarf3.4.12

      We're all slave to the RNG, however, I've had the White Hawkstrider drop for me on 2 toons. No phoenix though, and no Reins of the Raven Lord :(

      Oh yeah, don't forget about the Fiery Warhorse from the first boss in Karazhan.

  2. You're a big help Guarf.

  3. My husband and I enjoyed our brief fantasies about what we'd do with the Mega Millions money although this time we didn't actually buy a ticket as we figured our odds would be about the same with one or without.

    I still haven't bought either Darkmoon mount, I keep adopting monkeys and turtles and cubs. All in due time I guess.

    And that damn Anzu is very stingy with the Reins of the Raven Lord, makes me so mad I think I'll go kill him again!

  4. Guarf, go buy me a lottery ticket.


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